Anywhere else in the country you can join “Planet Fitness” for $29.95, use one of the thousands of available eliptical machines, and cancel your membership at any time. Here in New York, joining a gym is a process equivalent to choosing a college - It’s an expensive, long term commitment with many options to consider.

1- The Basics. All gyms should give you a free pass to use their facilities for a week. In order to get this, you usually have to endure a very sales-pitchy tour. Don’t be pressured to accept the first offer, even if the sales associate offers a one-time only price. The deal will still be there after you’ve had time to use the gym for a week and think about it.

Make sure to check out the gym location you’ll most frequently use at the time you’ll normally use it, i.e. right before or after work, to get an idea of the locker room crowd level and equipment availability.
2- Financing. No gym will give you prices online or over the phone. This is because all gym members pay different prices, depending on their employee assistance plans, and ability to haggle. First - check out whether you’ll receive a discount for certain gyms through your employer or whether your health insurance offers gym reimbursement.

At all gyms, during certain times during (2 “durings”s- maybe say “of the year” )the year, initiation fees and rates are dropped, and you should always try to bargain your way out of them. Expect to pay more if you want a month-to-month commitment, and less if you sign up for a year or two years. If you do commit for the long term - know that the only way you’ll get out of it is with a doctors note or proof of a move at least 100 miles away.
3- Know your options.

New York Sports Club’s are scattered across the city on nearly every corner. These are the most prevalent and relatively inexpensive, starting at around $59 for initiation plus around $79- $99 a month for attendance with a one year commitment. This should include usage of any NYSC, any class at any time.

Equinox - A few cuts above, Equinox gyms offer spa like amenities, steam rooms and juice bars. Hip lighting and sleek decor with none of that typical locker room stench.

Golds Gym - Convenient to those who work in the financial district, where there’s a gigantic new location. This gym is cheaper, and has good classes, but has less frills and attracts more of a body builder crowd. There is also an older location in midtown west

New York Health and Racquet Club - Expensive and probably the most well-known to the New York Elite- you get a discount if you live in one of their buildings. An insider notes that this gym features “newer equipment, great amenities and intense instructors,” though the “price-tag and location” might keep you at bay.
4- Take advantage of NYC’s natural resources. Maybe you think you need to join a gym for the pre-bikini season crunch, but as the weather warms up, you may just need to get outside for a walk or run in Central park or along Hudson River Parkway.

Time Warner Cable is a dirty stain on New York living – hours wasted on hold, long “windows” for cable installations, and incompetent “customer service” soil our desire for quick and mindless service. When Betty’s DVR didn’t record the Project Runway finale, TV’s most momentous moment – she learned a few tips about TWC:

The Window: TWC gives you a 4-5 hour time frame for installations, pickups, and customer service appointments. BUT they often come before or after this window as well. So if you’re rushing home to meet the cable guy after work, leave a little early.

The Store: When you Google, “Time Warner Cable New York,” the highlighted address is their corporate office. The actual store address is: 46A E. 23rd St. between Park and Madison. Try to arrive before they open! There is a line formed before 8 AM. But if you’re one of the first people, you won’t have to wait and the staff is more attentive and patient.

Sunday: A customer service representative told Betty to bring her box to the store on Sunday. Hungover and aching, she got to the store and it was CLOSED- very frustrating (fyi: the box is heavier then you think). They DO NOT work on Sunday- they want to make this challenging for you.

Agent: When you call Time Warner, they make you speak to a recording that cannot decipher a single word. So just say “AGENT” and keep repeating until you are actually talking to a real person. You can also continue to press the number 0.

Deep breathing: When you think you’re going to explode, try some deep breaths and remember that these people are bringing you Real Housewives of New York…

(Know your Options: Many NYC Betties also use Comcast, RCN, and Direct TV. And in dire times of TWC failure, you can watch some of your favorites online.)

If you’ve successfully found an apartment in Manhattan without using a broker, congratulations! It’s truly a feat. But for most Betties, we need someone to help navigate the rat race, hunt down the keys, and get us in the door. Unfortunately, these “brokers” are often slimy, greedy, and just plain annoying. So, in the spirit of survival AND attempting to love all mankind, here is some Broker Etiquette:

Do Cheat: Yes, they have worked hard and you feel guilty. But despite what they tell you, they DON’T all have the same listings and you MUST search the market for the best place. Which brings us to…

Don’t Become Friends: Betty started gossiping over coffee with her broker Julie. But when Julie couldn’t deliver an apartment, Betty faced a moral dilemma and betrayed a friend. Finding an apartment is NOT sorority time.

Do Voice Your Opinion: Let your broker know exactly what you want and stay FIRM. If they are showing you six floor walk-ups and you want an elevator, you’re wasting your time. You can get what you want.

Don’t Have Sex: You are spending hours together, commenting on lighting and bed placement… it’s all very romantic. Yet sleeping with your broker might put you in a compromising position. HOWEVER…

Do Flirt: Betty once got $1000 off her broker’s fee by accepting a date. Completely harmless and totally brilliant.

Does your boyfriend or girlfriend suck? Are you trapped in a relationship you can’t get out of? Are the walls around your tiny, shared, apartment closing in on you?  We’ve all been there. Its best not to make any rash decisions just yet. First, take a load off and listen up! Although some of these songs do encourage rash decisions, we leave it up to you to decide which advise you would prefer to take.My Boyfriend/Girlfriend Sucks

1. Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
2. Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five
3. My Baby’s Got a Secret - Madonna
4. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover - Paul Simon
5. These Boots Were Made For Walkin’ - Nancy Sinatra
6. I Heard it Though The Grapevine - Marvin Gaye
7. You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away - The Pearl Jam Version
8. Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under? - Shania Twain
9. Cry Me a River - Justin Timberlake

If you are ever looking for a carpenter, plumber, electrician, or anyone who can repair or make something for your home, you must buy the NYC Franklin Report. A bible to designers yet relatively unknown to many, this book acts as the Zagat guide for home services. Some of the categories of services include:

Furniture Repair
Pest Control
House Keeping Services
Air Conditioning Companies
Window Washers

The list goes on and on! The book rates the companies based 4 categories:

1. Work Quality
2. Cost
3. Value
4. Client Recommendations

While the creme de la creme of companies get published in the book, there is also a great search of services on their website. The Franklin Report is a MUST for all Betties!

http://franklinreport.com/default.aspx?m=NYC

Ever tried to repaint a room and discovered halfway through that you didn’t buy enough paint, or worse, you bought too much? Once paint has been mixed, it yours forever.

Well, now all Betties can rest easy knowing that the tricky calculations can be done for them…for free! Take a look at the Paint, Fabric, and Wallpaper Calculators in the Resources section of Dominomag.com. Just include dimensions and sizes (whatever pertains to your project) and click “Calculate.” Voila! The handy device will instantly tell you how much paint, wallpaper or fabric you will need. Now if only it would magically do the work for her, Betty would be in heaven.

http://www.dominomag.com/resources/calculators/paint

Take a look at this clip on how to hang wallpaper all by your lonesome!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdnkY-ME8GY

Betty recently caught the flu; probably from an infected co-worker coughing up a storm on her keyboard when she had vacated her desk for lunch. While she is normally ultra-conscious of germs floating around her, last week she forgot to Purell her mouse and phone! Then, she paid the price…The flu knocked her down and continued to kick her in the rear every time she tried to get up! She overdosed on ice cream and chicken noodle soup and yet the chills and the sweats continued to pour. Finally, a friend of hers gave her a Hotties HotWaterBottle Bucky to make her feel more comfortable.

Buckys are ultra-soft pillows filled with “natural buckwheat hulls”. The Hotties HotWaterBottle Bucky is shaped like (you guessed it) a Hot Water Bottle. But, this one is even better than the real thing because it can be heated in the microwave to warm you up, and put in the freezer to cool you down. Now, Betty swears by her Bucky! She is even convinced that it helps her burp when her stomach acts up…leading to the obvious and catchy nickname: Burpin’ Bucky.

Hotties HotWaterBottle $29.95, www.bucky.com

Jennifer Barney, creator of Barney Butter, has announced the launch of her 90 Calorie Packets. Barney Butter has jumped on the calorie controlled bandwagon and Betty couldn’t be happier.

These convenient packets are $2.99 for a strip of 6 (a little pricey for almond butter but they’re super easy to store in your desk or throw in your bag). Pair with an apple or some wheat crackers. At just 90 Calories per pack you’ll derail your hunger, not your diet.

Check out other essentials in Betty’s Desk Warrior Survival Kit.

http://www.barneybutter.com/order.html

When Betty first moved to the city, she went to Broadway Shows on a whim, energized and awed by the live performance. Yet the pricey tickets soon took a toll on her bank account. She tried the TKTS booth but what kind of Betty wants to wait in line all day? Luckily, she discovered NY Times Ticketwatch, a free online newsletter that gives fabulous deals to the latest shows.

http://www.nytimes.com/mem/ticketwatch.html

Betty’s new favorite musical is In The Heights, an innovative and current show about Washington Heights. Even Gawker enjoyed it!

http://gawker.com/358604/in-the-heights-reaches-broadway-average-guys-rejoice

Betty divulged the top 5 reasons to ride the subway (think green!).  If she has convinced you to catch a train and reduce your impact on the environment make sure to follow her subway commandments.

City Etiquette Part Two: Subway Commandments 

Let people exit before you enter. 

Don’t put your stuff on the seats.  Given the never ending need for various pairs of shoes (especially in the winter) you’re no doubt bogged down with multiple bags.  But be sure not to put them on the seats if your train is full (have a little compassion for your fellow riders wearing those cute shoes that pinch their toes). 

Never lean on the poles.  There is nothing more annoying than running to catch the train, squeezing into a full car and finding nothing to hold on to.